by Mike Peercy, Executive Director of Fostering Grace

A courtroom crowded with family members, caseworkers, attorneys, a judge…

A beautiful new chapter forever entwining three stories…

Tears of joy and hope…

A sober recognition of the heart-wrenching loss that made this day possible… necessary…

There is an indescribable beauty in the joy and hope of this thing we call adoption. It is, on days like this, something indeed to be celebrated, something to be honored, something to be given special attention and recognition. It is a monumental day in the life of these three different families grafted into one.

But…

There is an agonizing sorrow in the storylines that brought these people together. There were family relationships that simply were not able to safely remain intact, not able to continue. The hurt and heartache that these little ones were too small to comprehend remains written in their bodies in ways that will show up in their journeys in big and small ways—ways that will challenge this newly encoded family and test the love that is so palpable right now.

I have tremendous confidence in the determination of this family to love well and continue learning so that the challenges are met with grace and compassion. I have great faith that a depth of connection will continue to be nurtured that will enable them to endure. But there will almost certainly be moments in this journey that they question their own strength to carry on.

This day—this beautiful day is a microcosm of the “both/and” nature of this work of adoption. It is filled with BOTH beauty AND sorrow. It is BOTH joyful AND tragic. It is BOTH a celebration AND a grieving moment.

You see, adoption doesn’t erase the past. It does change the direction of the future. It doesn’t remove the wounds that have been suffered. It does give the chance for those wounds to heal.

And here in the very beautiful, very hard, very messy middle of it all, there are hearts and minds full of love and determination to hold in sacred honor the “BOTH/AND” of these precious little ones and give them the ability to write their own stories—stories of hope and healing and resilience.

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