by Mike Peercy, Executive Director of Fostering Grace

This weekend is Father’s Day! We want to offer a way to pray for a unique set of dads – those who step in to make a difference for kids from hard places.

1 – Pray for contagious calm.

There is no substitute for a strong unflappable presence. Dads who are parenting kids from hard places need that kind of un-rattled calmness that doesn’t get shaken by dramatic outbursts, offensive & disrespectful accusations, or even physical violence. There is a strange contagious influence in this sort of deep calm. It helps a kid who is entirely dysregulated begin to see themselves in the contrast almost like holding up a mirror. It can make so much difference when a foster dad has a powerfully contagious calm about him.

2 – Pray for quiet confidence.

There is such power in the grounded confidence that sidesteps the temptation to focus on how self is impacted by the situation. This confidence doesn’t have any need to be proven right or superior or in authority. Rather it causes a dad to simply focus on the need of the kid they’re caring for and look for a way to meet that need. It allows him to let ugly words glance off of him, let hurtful comparisons slide by, let the storm rage while moving carefully toward the eye where he can bring a kid back to a place of peace. It’s crucial that a foster dad be a man of deep and quiet confidence.

3 – Pray for genuine gentleness.

There is a grave difference in simply restraining harsh or potentially hurtful words or actions and truly speaking, moving, touching (appropriately) with true gentleness. It’s important for dads working with kids from hard places to have a very kid-focused gentle approach that, much like a doctor’s Hippocratic oath, is determined first to do no harm—to carefully avoid adding to the heap of trauma that causes a kid to be so dysregulated in the first place. It is so important that there be a genuine gentleness about him.

4 – Pray for enduring impact.

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with the lack of peace in the circumstances… especially when you’re the one whose role is to bring peace to those who can’t find it themselves. Foster dads may never realize the lasting influence that their presence can be in the life of a kid. In many cases, the impact can be everlasting. It’s important that a dad that is standing in the gap for a kid in foster care be seeking to represent the Father of all in a way that has a truly enduring impact.

Obviously there are so many more ways, but pray for the foster dads you know in these ways—and leave your own suggestions in the comments!